Marginally Satisfactory Example 1
Q: In a recent test on Canadian history, geography, and citizenship, the average mark among Grade Twelve students was 46%. Many were unable to identify the British North America Act as the name of Canada's original constitution. What should be done to ensure that Canadian students are given an adequate understanding of their own country?
What should be done to ensure that Canadian students are given an adequate understanding of their own country?
This question is a rising concern in present society due to the fact that the youths of today are socially unaware and socially illiterate. I can relate very well to this statement because my high school principal said this to our Social Studies thirty class. I must admit, he was right on target. We spent more time learning about foreign history and geography then we spent learning about Canada.I believe more emphasis should be placed on the teaching of Canadian Social Studies. This teaching should occur during the high school years. This could take effect by having the Department of Education alter course requirements and also alter graduation requirements.
The Department of Education needs to revise the course objectives. The way the course is set-up now, many topics are to be covered in a short amount of time. In order to finish the course the topic such as "Canadian History" is shortened. This is done because we live in Canada, we should already know some Canadian history. If the Department focused its' main objectives on Canadian Social Studies then they would be teaching youths on Canadian material. Once we covered Canadian material then we could go off and discuss other topics. We need to understand our own country before trying to learn about other countries.
Another possible solution would be for the Department of Education to restructure the graduation requirements. They could set a new requirement which states, in order to graduate the student must complete one course on Canadian Social Studies. This course would then deal specificly with Canadian geography, history and citizenship. If the student did not take the course then he/she would not qualify to graduate.
The schools could also take part in attempting to solve this problem. The schools could offer a wider variety of courses for their students to choose from. This would ensure that the problem is not due solely because an option of courses is not available. With more courses to choose from then a larger area of material could be covered. Also classes could specialize on certain key topics like Canadian geography.
Another aspect of this issue is that current events need to have more emphasis placed on them. I know from experience that when I attended high school I did not read the newspaper or watch the news everyday. I also know that most high school students don't follow the news very closely. This is another factor which adds to being socially unaware. This problem can be solved with the schools putting more current events questions on exams and also on assignments. The school is not the only place where this can be solved. The home is also a place where parents can make an attempt to have their sons/daughters view the news.
Society as a whole must begin to work together to ensure that the up and coming youths are socially aware. The government and Department of Education must begin to take part in resolving the problem. They could do this by changing the course requirements and also by changing the graduation requirements. The schools can do their part by offering a wider variety of courses available for students. Parents at home can also encourage their children to become more involved in current events and social knowledge. Any one of these suggestions maybe used as a solution to solve the big problem of, "What should be done to ensure that Canadian students are given an adequate understanding of their own country."
Sample 2: DISCUSSION
This student suggests increasing the emphasis on Canadian Social Studies in high school as a way to ensure that Canadian students are given an adequate understanding of their own country. The essay is well organized and well developed, with the argument moving effectively from general ideas to detailed discussion. The essay is not without weaknesses, however. While there are few sentence errors, imprecision occasionally results from overcompressed phrases and vague use of the pronoun this. Article and preposition faults contribute other infelicities. Finally, the paper is marred by a few basic spelling errors: confusion between then and than, it's and its, and maybe and may be. These errors were enough to cause the markers to rate the paper only "marginally" satisfactory but not serious enough to warrant failing the paper. This student would pass but would be advised to visit the Writing Centre to discuss the test and to begin a programme of voluntary writing tutorials.