Sharing a room or living area may be a new experience for you. Learning to live with other people, to acknowledge and respect each other's differences, and allow one another the space to grow are some of the most valuable parts of the residence experience. To ensure a successful living arrangement, you must take an active role in learning to live with someone, specifically in resolving differences. Read below for tips on how to communicate and effectively resolve differences.
Roommate Agreements
Roommate agreements outline standards of behaviours that each roommate agrees to live by in order to fulfill a successful roommate relationship. This is a valuable tool to help you and your roommate discuss some common differences and develop an agreement to be able to accommodate everyone's needs and interests. You will be given instructions from your Residence Assistants on how to access and fill out your roommate agreement form at your first floor meeting after you move in, and you are welcome to refer back to it throughout the year should your living situation change.
Roommate Difficulties and Room Changes
If conflict arises throughout the year, show your roommate respect by speaking with them in person, not by leaving notes, text messages, or through social media. Find a time that works for all parties to share how their behaviour is impacting you. Try not to focus on their character. Residence Assistants can coach you on effectively communicating with your roommate and can follow up to monitor how your discussion with your roommate goes. You may also ask for a copy of your roommate agreement to be able to refer to in your discussion.
Room changes are an option, managed by your Campus Life Housing Coordinator, as a last resort after all other options have been exhausted. Room changes require one or both people to leave their friends and floor community. We are unable to guarantee a room within the same community if you request a room change. The Campus Life Housing Coordinator may force one or both roommates to move in exceptional circumstances. We recommend roommates actively participate in roommate mediation if there is conflict.
Living Together Guide
Communication is key to a successful relationship between you and your roommate, but some topics may be hard to discuss. Below are some areas that are important to cover when completing your roommate agreement.
Remember, as a roommate, you have responsibilities to:
- Maintain a clean shared living space.
- Respect your roommate(s) and their belongings.
- Respectfully communicate face-to-face with your roommate(s).
- Take an active role in resolving conflicts, with or without your RAs support.
- Allow your roommate(s) to live and learn in communal spaces without undue interference (unreasonable noise or other distractions) that inhibit these activities.
- Allow your roommate(s) to sleep without disturbance from noise, guests, or other disruptions.
- Allow your roommate(s) free access to all shared spaces/facilities.
- Provide your roommate(s) with privacy and ensure your guests respect the privacy and rights of your roommate(s).
- Allow your roommate(s) to be free from fear, intimidation, physical and emotional harm.
Sharing a room is just like any other relationship; it requires compromise, openness, flexibility and respect to be successful. It's important to communicate openly and in person with your roommate right from the start to properly express all thoughts and feelings. Choose a time that works best for both you and your roommate to work through any issues that come up.
Tip: Focus exclusively on how their behaviour is impacting you personally and how it makes you feel, not their character or what they have done "wrong". What one person considers messy or loud is not consistent across all folks.
You have the right to sleep without disturbances from noise, guests or other disruptions and the responsibility to allow your roommate(s) to sleep without disturbances. As requirements differ from person to person and an appropriate sleep schedule must be discussed with your roommate(s).
Tip: Ask what they need to sleep well; including light, hours, and noise volume.
Since individuals study in different ways; different levels of noise, locations, times of day, it is the responsibility of each roommate to ensure they are maintaining an environment in their room that is conducive to learning by not causing any undue interferences or distractions.
Tip: Post copies of your class schedules and talk about when you prefer to study (between classes, only at night, etc.).
Talk with your roommate(s) about an ideal temperature for your room. Temperature settings not only impact comfort level, but also are useful in terms of sustainability efforts. Temperature levels also include when and for how long the windows can be open.
Tip: Talk about how you should approach changing the temperature.
In residence, you are required to maintain at least a minimum standard of cleanliness for health and safety. However, individual standards and expectations can vary. You should build cleanliness expectations early in the year that includes garbage, recycling, and overall mess. Shared suites may also consider discussing kitchen cleanliness including how you would like to keep dishes clean.
Tip: Develop a schedule for how often areas of your room should get cleaned together.
Different people have different ideas on how they like their belongings to be used or shared. Speak with your roommates to determine boundaries regarding personal property to avoid unexpected surprises or doubt.
Tip: Discuss what you are able to borrow, when permission is necessary and what is completely off limits.
You all have family and friends back home that you would like to stay in touch with. Whether it's a phone call back home or an interaction over Facetime or Zoom, be mindful of when you’re having those conversations, how loud you are, and who else is in the room. You might also just need some space and time to be alone.
Tip: Be understanding, and think about how your social needs differ from that of your roommate(s).
Residence is a great place to meet new friends! Discuss with your roommate(s) when you are comfortable having guests in your room and for how long they can stay. You may want to consider overnight guests, how many people can be in the room, and how much notice you would like before a guest arrives.
Tip: Before making plans, make sure you are aware of the guest policy in residence by reviewing the Residence Handbook and filling out the Overnight Guest Registration form to register them.
If you are in your room, keeping your door open can create an inviting and friendly environment. But safety is a shared responsibility. Discuss with your roommate how you will communicate when you will be locking the door, and how to remind each other to lock the door.
Tip: Talk to your roommate and agree that you will bring your keys when leaving the room for any reason (even if going to the washroom or lounge) so that in case your roommate leaves, they can lock the door.